In the begining, there was a lump...

In the begging- there was a lump.

So in the winter of 2013/2014 I first felt a lump in the back of my neck, one of my lymph nodes was swollen. It wasn't very big and after seeing my doctor she told me not to worry, I was probably fighting and infection and if it got bigger or was still there in 8 months to return to see her.

It was probably my fault that I didn't return when I felt the second lump, I just didn't want to bother her, and honestly bother myself with another useless appointment.

The thing is the second lump was bigger, and it worried me. By September  it was still there and I figured it was long enough I made an appointment to see my GP.

Let me point out here that my GP is amazing. She explained that at my age the likelihood of finding lymphoma was low, she was going to do all the tests just to make sure.

Starting with a blood test and an ultrasound of the mass.

My blood tests returned fine, other than the fact that my iron and b-12 is low. This is common after having a baby (explains my cravings for dirt while I was pregnant!)

The ultrasound showed that my lymph node was 2.2cm. Generally health care professionals do now want to see it bigger than 1.5. So at this point my GP sent me for a CT scan and referred me to a ENT specialist.

My anxiety at this point was high, I was scared of the unknown, I wasn't sleeping well and I was easily brought to tears.

It's hard not knowing what you're dealing with, was I going to die next week? Was it all just some stupid infection? Google doesn't help much at this point.....

During this whole process I truly felt like Schrödinger's cat - I both had cancer and did not all at the same
Time. I just wanted someone to open the damned box!

So what cat I say about CT scan #1, it was very easy and localized so not very long. I was surprised by the tech. He was about my age, normal looking, he was very soft and kind. When takings arm and inserting the Iv he was very gentle. He asked me "so why are we doing this today" and I explained why, how long I had the lump etc. he seemed to go quiet after that. I think it surprises people when someone of my age (and their age) comes face to face with this reality. The ultrasound tech had a similar reaction when I explained it to her.

I kind of knew from their reactions that this wasn't something they encountered everyday.

Next step was seeing the ENT.